On the way to work this morning, a man sitting in the corner seats of the train—the seats my sister refers to as the anti-social section—just let out a stream of thoughts, some cliché, some not so. I had the typical New Yorker reaction at first—here we go—then I wound up jotting a lot of what he said.
Description:
Film of whitening hair on his head. Beige cap that he would take off and put to his chest as if waiting for an anthem to play. Gumby-green hooded sweater spilling out of brown velvet jacket that faded into mustard in some places. Brown tinted glasses. Desert Storm camouflage gloves. White and gray sneakers. Shopping bag, blue plastic bag with a thick twig running through, sitting on top of white canvas bag.
Here’s what he imparted…
People want to be vampires and a vampire ain’t human…they couldn’t program Nelson Mandela — 91 years old and still going strong.
If a person weighs 900 pounds you don’t tell them how fat they are—you help them reduce the weight. That’s intelligence…
You pay a price for having knowledge.
You got be a politician, a preacher and psychologist walking on eggshells around people because they will be uncomfortable with the fact that you have knowledge.
Train stops at 59th Street and he says to crowd of people exiting…We’ll continue later.
He resumes…
Character and decency—you earn that…you can’t buy that.
Whistles.
If you don’t have manners, you hang out with the governor…now don’t laugh — his staff may be on here.
Money can’t buy you love.
Real men don’t hit women.
Sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying.
It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all.
All women have to do is stop holding on to the zero and hold on to the hero.
It’s not your altitude, it’s your attitude—in business and in romance.
All women are beautiful but the most beautiful woman is a lady.
14th Street – he looks at a tourist and says…Welcome to America.
Thanks, the tourist responds.
So how do you know we’re tourists – the man posed the question for the tourist.
Then he says to tourist– It’s gonna be alright.
He resumes…
Yesterday, children took over JFK.
Common sense says you ask somebody before you take pictures – he yells in response to someone snapping a shot.
If a woman has wisdom and the man is a fool, then the baby may come out a fool.
A woman who is a thoroughbred has no business being with a donkey.
Women tend to like men who are idiots. How many women say — my man is crazy—that means you’re a nut too!
A pig with a silk suit is still a pig.
An idiot with a Rolls Royce is still an idiot.
Fantasy is a game for children not adults.
Fin.